


They don't have to say it

by fortheverses



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Boys In Love, Erza knows everything, Gratsu Fluff, Gray acts super tough and cool but he's a big softie, Gray does his best to cope, Gray does not to know how to ask for help, Gray is falling sick but he doesn't want to worry anyone, Gray x Natsu - Freeform, Grumpy Gray, M/M, Natsu knows his mate and takes care of him, Natsu really loves his mate, Protective Gray Fullbuster, Protective Natsu Dragneel, Sick Gray, Sick Gray Fullbuster, They've always loved each other but they're stubborn as hell about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24524941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheverses/pseuds/fortheverses
Summary: Maybe the universe didn’t like him being so uncharacteristically not-grumpy, what with that being his usual MO and all, because Gray suddenly felt a spell of dizziness try to fuck with his strut.It was manageable, didn’t last any longer than a jiffy and he didn’t face plant into the gravel or anything, but it still pissed him off.This had been happening for a while now.And he now knew what this was.And he got his grump on with more vengeance than Natsu coming alive after getting off of trains.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Comments: 11
Kudos: 120





	They don't have to say it

It was a Thursday, middle of the day too, not that anyone even cares about that kind of stuff, and the team was headed home having defeated Oracion Seis. They’d gotten off the train, Natsu had come back to life with a vengeance and Fairy Tail was still a ways off as the exhausted mages kept on towards home. The mission had been tough on the heart even more than the body and Gray, for one, knew that Erza and Wendy were going to need time to heal.   
  
He’d already decided to keep a look out for both of them, from the sidelines of course, he hated imposing on people. He couldn’t stop thinking about this kind of stuff when it happened to his friends so he made sure to always be ready to find them if they needed finding but he hated to impose. He found it a bit too self-involved to assume that a friend would draw comfort from his presence at all times. There were times when one just needed space more than words and Gray was not conceited enough to think of himself as some heart-healer. He’d just be there. Probably won’t even need to step in, what with the entire team being so protective of their own.  
  
It was a nice feeling though, Gray had to admit, how the whole Team Natsu thing had worked out. He’d thought he’d go mad having to work with other people so frequently but it worked well because they had the same values. They had trust. They protected. And they loved.   
  
He could feel a smile forming on his face and because the others were all walking ahead of him and Happy was snoring loudly on his head (because Natsu kept setting himself on fire), Gray easily let his lips curl up.  
  
But maybe the universe didn’t like him being so uncharacteristically not-grumpy, what with that being his usual MO and all, because Gray suddenly felt a bit of dizziness try to fuck with his strut. It was manageable, didn’t last any longer than a jiffy and he didn’t face plant into the gravel or anything, but it still pissed him off.  
  
This had been happening for a while now.   
  
And he now knew what this was.  
  
And he got his grump on with more vengeance than Natsu coming alive after getting off of trains.  
  
There was a lot going on with Gray since the mission started. What with Erza trying to sacrifice her arm like it was okay for her to be trivializing herself like that – she didn’t even ask anyone for help, not once, like they wouldn’t try anything for her or something? And he just knew that she didn’t even think to ask, like she was only good if she could be useful or something. He knew that feeling and he hated that she felt it. He’d have to try to knock some sense into her. Later though. For now, she was a woman who’d just lost the man she was always in love with.  
  
And then there was the fight with Racer, and Gray lost way too much magic fighting him but then Lyon showed up and he put his faith in Gray to take the final shot and it tasted like being forgiven for things he still couldn’t forgive himself for, which unfroze something in his heart that Gray hadn’t realized he still carried, and it was ironic considering Lyon literally froze him into some upturned giant icicle while this happened.   
  
So his heart let go of some heavy thing and he took the shot but he didn’t want to kill the guy and the next thing he knew, Lyon was exploding on the horizon and Gray’s heart stopped. He literally refused to believe that any force in the world could be cruel enough to put on his hands more loved ones’ blood and in the same moment his heart lay it down on him – _he’d killed family again. Now he’d killed his brother._   
  
If Lyon hadn’t been alive, Gray actually might have killed himself. The repulsion in his own heart got too loud and there was no way he could quiet it down because Gray had never for even one second not blamed himself for all the death he’d seen.  
  
It was funny too, how for all these years he always believed that the deaths were all his own sins but if anyone ever actually said that out loud, to him, it paralyzed him. Like he _became_ ice or something. White noise in his brain. He couldn’t bear it. How did one breathe again?   
  
He never forgot people’s eyes when they said stuff like that. But he’d never actually held a murder weapon or gutted the people he loved so fiercely, so maybe others wouldn’t know it was his fault, maybe they wouldn’t blame him or something…did some part of him kind of hope for that?  
  
Really was funny. It would make no difference, would it? Not like he’d ever forgive himself.  
  
And now he’d never forget the weight of having ‘killed’ Lyon. He’d already taken everything from the poor guy, for Chrissake, how’d anyone expect Gray to not suffocate in all this guilt?  
  
But Lyon at least had turned out to be alive, so Gray was able to feel a bit more human but by that point he was frayed. All of him.   
  
The fight continued. So Gray switched to fight-mode and tried to put all his overgrown trauma down for a nap. It’d wake up when Gray slept.   
  
They won the fight at long last. But then they took Jellal away from Erza and she again put herself last and even little Wendy lost her family and her guild.   
  
Gray would give his head to not have to see such things happen anymore. He couldn’t stop thinking about them anyway.  
  
Everyone in the team knew all about searching for a place to belong to, so they all knew the answer too – Wendy would belong in Fairy Tail. Erza said it best and they all headed home.  
  
But Gray knew his body had betrayed him somewhere during the fight against Racer. He’d already used up most of his magic before Natsu even got to leave with Wendy and then the bike with the magic-sucking SE plug damn near sucked his life out of him. The power it took to keep the thing going fast enough to keep up with the Racer prick was brutal. If his body could sue him for abuse, Gray was pretty sure it would. He should’ve stopped when they got off the bike and let Lyon and Sherry take over but the stake was Erza’s life - Gray would die before he’d stop.  
  
So he’d maybe sort of pushed too far and gotten sick. Mages aren’t supposed to empty their bodies of magic like that for all that time and he knew that this time, he’d pushed too far. He’d been getting dizzy ever since he got off the godforsaken bike and it wasn’t going away at all. Getting worse even, like some dumbass linear progression.  
  
All this current walking around probably didn’t help though. He knew that. He could’ve rested at the train station or slept on the train instead of using his magic to keep Wendy and Carla somewhat preoccupied with Ice-make miniatures – it didn’t help that Happy wanted the fish to flap, really. But whatever, he didn’t want to say anything with everyone’s hearts so heavy and he didn’t want to think of Lyon exploding before his eyes. So he’d tough it out today, in case anyone needed him around.   
  
But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be pissed at his body. He _hated_ getting sick. And sure, everyone hated it, nothing new…maybe some people liked it, but Gray didn’t know anyone who did so he wasn’t going to think about it too long now and that wasn’t the point anyway, the point was that _Gray really really hated getting sick._ More than all those other people who also hated it. He was pretty sure he hated it more than anyone else on earthland.  
  
He let out an irritated huff, trying to let some of his irritation flow out of him. He wasn’t loud or dramatic or anything but Natsu still noticed and let go of his end of Lucy’s whip which Lucy had been trying to pull with full strength at the other end so of course she fell over with her legs above her head and whatever Wendy saw in there had her face rival Erza’s scarlet (Gray would snicker at this clever thought later when he’s loopy and delirious on mage medication) and somehow Happy snickered right then in his sleep.  
  
Natsu looked around to shoot Gray a questioning look right before Lucy pummeled his face into the gravel.  
  
 _You okay?  
  
_ He didn’t project the question through the bond or anything, Gray could read it because he can read Natsu – did he mention that he and Natsu were mates? Like in love? Because they were. Gray still didn’t think that he was right for Natsu but lizard boy wouldn’t listen to reason, stubborn bastard, and kept trying to convince Gray otherwise. Like Gray would ever listen to that crap.  
  
To be honest, Gray has never wanted anyone to ever get involved with him, it didn’t end well for people. They needed to keep him at a distance, because somehow people he loved best died. And the loneliness and the guilt of it wasn’t worth the happiness of it. Or maybe it was. But he hated that it was, it shouldn’t be.  
  
Gray barely coped with what had happened years ago, no way could he risk it happening again. He’d even freaked about Fairy Tail becoming his ‘family’. Took him a long time before he could even call it that, years after he knew it to be true, in fact. He’d thought saying it would make it real. It took years of nobody dying on him. And some days, when some prick-ass nightmare got too real or something, he still found himself waiting for days for the other shoe to drop.   
  
That’s just how Gray was, after everything that had happened.   
  
It’d even taken Natsu years to wear him down enough to make him admit that they loved each other less-than-platonically, years after he’d known it to be true, in fact. He’d gotten an early start on the wooing too, the little fire prick, he started the very day they met.   
  
Natsu had just walked through the doors of Fairy Tail for the first time when a flying Gray (courtesy Erza) crashed right into him. Gray’d gotten right back up, leaving Natsu right there on the floor under him and he’d proceeded to tell Erza that strawberry cake was even stupider than her face, only to realize that those were going to be stupidest last words anyone had ever spoken because Erza had heard him (of course she heard, he’d yelled it _at her_ ). Gray only hoped that she wouldn’t follow him into the afterlife.   
  
But then Natsu popped up behind him and put his damn nose right up into Gray’s neck and Gray jumped about 10 feet high, wondering how Erza could even conjure pink-haired assassins now but the pinky turned out to be his savior – Erza got distracted and Gray die as nine-year old smartmouth.  
  
So Gray went ahead and decided to not hate on pinky but the dumbass then told him that he smelled weird and started smelling him _again. Closer. His nose was in Gray’s neck.  
  
_ So Gray punched him. Natsu cried and then punched him back and then Erza threw Gray into Mira’s face and introduced herself to the boy and then Mira threw him back at Erza and followed it up with her own punch and Gray lay dizzy on the floor for he didn’t even know how long and Natsu probably smelled him the whole time, the little prick.  
  
And then Natsu licked him.  
  
On his face.  
  
Natsu _licked_ Gray’s _face_ and told him that Igneel said that mates love and care for each other so Gray shouldn’t punch him because they were gonna be mates one day.  
  
Gray told him that he was gonna punch whoever the heck he wanted and that he’d never even heard of anyone called Igneel anyway. And that he was no mate or whatever. Gray still didn’t know what to do about the licking thing but Natsu’s head had already dropped at Gray’s words and his arms were starting to tremble a little and he didn’t cry this time but somehow that was much worse.  
  
Gray knew this. He was nine years old then and he’d known _this_ for about two years already. Erza knew it too. In Fairy Tail, a lot of them knew such things because they came from them.  
  
So Gray took Natsu’s trembling hands in his own and held them firmly. Natsu looked up at him and the surprise on his face made Gray wonder what Natsu saw when he looked into Gray’s eyes.  
  
“You’re going to be okay. We all are.”  
  
Natsu started to cry again and Gray smiled at him and led him out of the guild. They walked to the lake and Gray told Natsu that he was going to be in Fairy Tail so he shouldn’t cry alone anymore. These were going to be his people now.  
  
Then Gray looked away. He didn’t want Natsu to look into his eyes anymore as he spoke.  
  
“And I’ll be your friend if…you know, you want to. I’d…like that.”  
  
He couldn’t for the life of him find the courage to look at Natsu again. It was all he could do not to take off running, his heart was beating so fast.  
  
When Natsu put his hand on his, Gray realized that Natsu’s hands weren’t trembling anymore. His were.  
  
“Mate.”  
  
Gray looked at Natsu.   
  
Natsu smiled through his tears and tightened his grip.   
  
He was beautiful.  
  
“…alright.”  
  
It took a long time before Natsu brought the mate-thing up again. He just loved Gray. And Gray loved him. They did it their own way and they didn’t call it anything. They both did their own thing mostly. But neither of them fought anyone else the way they fought with each other.   
  
When Natsu was young, Gray would follow him to keep him safe. He taught Natsu how to take care of people by being there and knowing them. He taught him that people didn’t always say how they really felt and how to be there for them at such times. Gray taught Natsu how to give care. Natsu learnt fast and Gray never realized when he flipped the tables on him and started giving care to Gray. He tried to stop Natsu but it was too late. Natsu knew he wasn’t saying what he really felt and Gray realized that one day Natsu would really make him his mate.   
  
That night he dreamt of Natsu burning in Deliora’s fire and in the morning Gray ran away.  
  
Natsu followed him to keep him safe and take him back and taught him how he was worthy of love. It scared Gray because he didn’t remember teaching Natsu that. It also made him so proud of the dragon slayer that he nearly cried.   
  
Gray returned. Natsu started courting him and Gray starting refusing him. But he never left again.  
  
Gray couldn’t stop loving Natsu. He tried for years and ended up loving him a little more everyday.   
  
Then Lisanna died. And Natsu broke. And Gray forgot all about how dangerous it was to love and gave his everything to protect the man he loved. He didn’t want Natsu to ever look like he had. He accepted Natsu with all his heart. And told him he was never allowed to die or Gray would end him.  
  
So they became mates.  
  
They still didn’t really call it anything else though, because Gray didn’t like unnecessary risks and Natsu didn’t like unnecessary complications. They were just together. Mates. That much was fine with Gray.  
  
If Natsu ever wanted to marry him or some shit, Gray’d tell him to go take a hike into the sun.  
  
Erza knew what they were. They never told her but she knew because they hadn’t been subtle kids and adulating had barely helped.   
  
So here they were now, Natsu and Gray, mates on a Thursday-middle-of-the-day walk to home.  
  
 _At least keep the underwear, pervert, Wendy’s here. What are you day dreaming about back there?  
  
_ This time Natsu had used the bond, projecting his thoughts across. Gray could feel some solid happy undercurrents from him too, which meant that Gray had probably had a smile on his face at some point.  
  
Natsu always got stupidly happy like that when he caught Gray smiling, the little prick. His favourite thing was when he said something dumb enough to surprise Gray into a barked laugh. Gray knew it because he could feel it over the bond – and he’s never felt anything else make Natsu as happy.  
  
It surprises Gray to have found this type of sunny love after the life he’s lived. And he can’t help the colour that rises to his face when he realizes this is how Natsu will always love him. Gray’s happiness makes Natsu the happiest. What even. Gray knows he so doesn’t deserve all this but he’s still desperate to never lose it. He couldn’t. There was no part of his life left that Natsu wasn’t also a part of.  
  
Gray was just about to share his thoughts over the bond, just to make his squinty-eyes smile – he doesn’t share _everything all the time_ the way Natsu does. He wants to keep his demons to himself, away from his mate. Natsu already always knows more than Gray expects.  
  
So anyway, he was just gonna share when he remembered something and so his projection morphed into –   
  
_Wait, you said underwear?  
  
_ Underwear.  
  
He’s only wearing underwear.   
  
Natsu snickers out loud – the stupid lizard – as Gray quietly runs back to retrieve his clothes.  
  
The pants are already on but the shirt’s only through his arms when the dizziness returns and for a moment there Gray isn’t sure that he isn’t going to faceplant but he gets it under control and only his shirt hits the ground.  
  
He picks it back up and that’s all the time it takes for Natsu to be all up in his space.   
  
_What’s wrong? Something happened.  
  
_ Gray’s happy that he uses the bond instead of his voice to avoid grabbing attention. Everyone’s stopped to look as it is and if they could see the way Natsu’s slightly-panicked eyes are roaming all over Gray to assess what’s bothering him, they wouldn’t believe it.  
  
Gray’s heart melts a little at the look in Natsu’s eyes. His mate’s being overprotective and all but sometimes, it reminds Gray of how his mother used to love him.  
  
He decides to tell the truth.   
  
Or at least some of it.  
  
 _Just need to rest up. I’m really beat.  
  
_ He’s going to wait till they get home to let Natsu know that he may be falling a little sick. (It’s a gross underestimation, he would find out later when he’s loopy and delirious on mage medication, but Natsu’s won’t let go for even a minute, so Gray’s going to be okay.)   
  
Natsu doesn’t look like he’s fully convinced with Gray’s words. Gray hates how well Natsu reads him. Whatever. If he wants it so bad, Gray’s gonna let him have it, the little prick.  
  
 _I may have let the magic drain go on a bit too long or something. And then I thought Lyon…whatever, you know, that made it worse. So I’m gonna fall sick now and your sorry ass has to take care of me and make me all better.  
  
_ Projecting that last part makes his ears burn or maybe the fever’s coming on or whatever, but Gray looks away as his face flushes. He only said it so Natsu would stop with the borderline panic. It’s just an illness.   
  
Natsu’s eyes are boring holes of concern into the side of Gray’s head and Gray can feel his face rivaling Erza’s scarlet. He should’ve called Natsu a little prick or something, for good measure. What’s the idiot worrying like that for?  
  
Natsu finally exhales and gingerly calls at Happy to wake him up. The groggy exceed grumbles his way over to Natsu’s shoulder from Gray’s head until he sees Carla and suddenly he’s wide awake and ready to roll. So he flies over to be with her. And Natsu takes his place by Gray’s side.  
  
Maybe Lucy and Wendy are going to think that Natsu only went up to Gray to fetch Happy. Gray thinks Lucy may know something more though.  
  
Erza would definitely know.  
  
Gray can tell that Natsu wants to take his hand. Or maybe carry him to their place in his arms or something because he’d totally do that. He really is an overprotective idiot.  
  
 _You’re an idiot.  
  
_ Gray snorts because that projection came from Natsu. Figures. He still hopes that thinking the same thoughts doesn’t mean that his IQ may one day fall to his mate’s level.   
  
_I knew you were overdoing it with Racer. Should’ve let me stay and help.  
  
_ Nobody’s looking, so Gray takes Natsu’s hand to help with the worrying. _  
  
It was Erza.  
  
_Natsu squeezes Gray’s hand. _  
  
I know.  
  
_ A beat.  
  
 _You’re not allowed a word of protest once I get you home, popsicle. I’m incharge till you’re back to full health. I should always be incharge anyway.  
  
Whatever, flame brain. But Wendy is going to need us all there with her in the guild for now.  
  
_Gray can tell that Natsu wants to growl because he has a point. _  
  
Fine. Guild’s closer anyway and you need to stop being on your own feet already. We can go but if I say we leave, we leave. You’re running a fever, snowflake.  
  
_ It’s not a question.   
  
Gray loves when Natsu calls him _snowflake_ like that. He wonders if Natsu knows it too. His heart is all warm again and so is his face and maybe Natsu’s right. Gray needs to let his mate take care of him for a bit.  
  
Maybe Natsu’s brainwashing him.   
  
_I’m gonna take care of you till I can kick your icy ass into Erza’s face again._  
  
Maybe Natsu’s just really good for Gray and he doesn’t deserve it and all but maybe he won’t screw this one up.   
  
Is that really okay? Gray wants…to try.  
  
Because he really is so so far gone for Natsu. Gray has loved Natsu all his fucking life already. Since he first saw him and all. He really loves Natsu. So Gray says it.  
  
 _You love my icy ass._  
  
Natsu smiles. Gray doesn’t need to hear it to know it but Natsu says it because he wants to.  
  
 _In sickness and in health._  
  
(Natsu’s going to snicker at this clever thought later when Gray would be loopy and delirious on mage medication. Gray’s going to be sick for a whole week. He’s going to kiss Natsu in all the ways he doesn’t usually let himself and tell Natsu how terribly he loves him. It’s going to make him cry. And then he’s going to cry because Natsu’s slippers look sad. He’s going to try to eat Natsu’s fire and feed Natsu ice beacause it isn’t fair that Natsu can eat fire but he can’t eat ice. He’s going to tell Natsu about his little sister who he couldn’t protect from Deliora’s attack who he’s never told anyone about, ever. And he’s going to forbid Natsu from ever leaving him alone. And Natsu really is going to end up falling even more in love with his mate every day.)

**Author's Note:**

> Isn't sick boi Gray just lovely?
> 
> Also, I can't decide if it's better to leave this as is or write on about Gray's grumpy week of sick. Already done to death?
> 
> Open to opinions and/or suggestions, please drop a word if you have the time, that shit feels amazing.
> 
> Also, does the rambling tone of the narrative work for/fuck with anyone?
> 
> Max


End file.
